Death by 1000 Cuts
Some of the first computer games I ever played were multiplayer games.
It was a huge deal for me at the time. The only other time I could have played games with people would have been in person. Now I could play games with literally everybody! It was so exciting. I was playing games with real people!
But now, as an adult, I have an entirely different mind on the subject. In short, I don’t like it. Also, if being brutally honest, I am done with people… when playing video games.
In this blog post, I am going to explain what happened to get me to change my mind.
People Are Rude!
I remember playing Warcraft 3 online and just trying to figure out how things worked and what I needed to do. I was often berated. RTS games have never been my thing. I tried to enjoy the game, but people made it quite hard.
I can tell this same story in multiple games. But I will save your time. It is always the same story.
- I get excited about a new game.
- I start to play it and find myself having fun.
- It turns out I am bad at the game. Or not living up to some random person’s expectations.
- People get mad at me for being bad and other random issues.
- I get to the point where I feel I want to explode.
- I keep trying to play the game and have fun. It doesn’t work.
- I quit playing the game.
Why Can’t You Just Grow a Thicker Skin and Ignore Certain Things?
I have always had a hard time dealing with difficult situations. I either break down, and I want to quit. Or I become massively angry, and I can’t even think straight. I know that sounds dramatic. I can’t blame some readers if they think, “What is this guy’s problem? Why can’t he deal with a little bit of shit talk every once in a while?”
Well, reader, I just can’t. I tried, and I just don’t have it in me. Not for video games. You know the thing people often interact with to have fun or some form of enjoyment? I am somewhat better about this now that I am older. But I would still rather not deal with people like this.
Why should I have to anyway? Why does some of the online gaming community just accept that it is OK to be assholes to other people when playing video games and everyone should just accept it?
People are cult-like when it comes to how hard they will defend shit-talking or rude players. I can’t understand it. Anything but be a better person and just be polite, apparently. Or just keep their mouth shut.
The Platinum Rule is an updated version of the golden rule. Instead of treat others the way you want to be treated, this version of the rule is treat others the way they want to be treated. Some people need this branded/tattooed on their arms I think.
Just Mute People!
Silencing people does not work in team-based games like Counter-Strike or DOTA 2. How am I supposed to play a very heavy team-based game by muting everyone? It ruins the experience.
Also, getting people to shut up does not stop them from messing up the game in other ways. People get creative. You can’t stop a motivated asshole by just muting them.
Developers Don’t Help Any
I thought the solution would be the developers. If they just banned everyone rude, the game would be a better place. Well, I can’t think of any game developer willing to go the extremes to make that happen. I suppose even I have to admit that that is controversial.
Imagine a game that actually banned badmouth players, even if they purchased the game with enough reports and did it often. Oh boy. I can only imagine the fallout of that.
This half-assed ban some people, but not everyone, plan most game developers use doesn’t do anything for me. Either go to extremes and get rid of everyone who breaks the rules, or just admit you accept some forms of harassment and abuse in your game. None will do that, though, of course. It sounds too bad. So instead, we get weak promises to make things better. Somehow.
I don’t feel most developers do enough for their games to feel like safe spaces. I know that really gets some people going, and feel free to disagree or be angry if you want. I am just sharing my thoughts. I think game developers need to do more to control online game communities. Even if by force. I would rather play a game with a smaller, more selective community if it is better overall.
Playing With Friends Is Not the Magical Solution People Think It Is
People are quick to say things like “make friends. Find an online community that you like and only play with them.” I tried finding smaller communities to play some games in.
One DOTA 2 Discord I joined for beginners had people in it that were about as rude as any other people I find playing the game myself. Reminder: This was a community for beginners or people who felt they did not have much skill. Still rude anyway.
To be fair, playing with close friends or people you like makes the experience nicer. I had a nice group I played Counter-Strike with for quite a while. It pushed me to get better, and I enjoyed it a lot.
But remember, your group still has to play with other people. So now you and the group are being shit-talked. Often by other groups. Playing with friends does not seem to make people nicer. Some of the most rude people I played with on Counter-Strike were in premade groups. Same for DOTA 2.
Also, now I have to play dating to find people to play multiplayer games with!? As if I have time or energy to want to do any of that. I can just open up The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth and be going in minutes without needing anyone.
So, to me, just playing with friends is not some magical answer or solution people think it is.
So What Am I Doing?
I just don’t play multiplayer games anymore. I won’t say I will never play multiplayer games, because I still might occasionally. I might want to write about playing some of these games for my blog as well.
Something like Fall Guys is so cute and anti-competitive I might still enjoy playing it. Who cares if I win or lose? Also, people can’t talk to you! I also bought Lethal Company recently after watching my favorite Hololive members play it.
There are almost endless amounts of single-player games to play, old and new. I have found that I quite like playing video games alone. There is no pressure to live up to anyone else’s expectations. Nobody is getting angry here but myself. It doesn’t matter what other people think about how I play the game. I can be a bad player if I want. Who cares.
I would say you can’t be banned playing games alone but… with live service games mixing single and multiplayer experiences, I am not quite sure. At least you can’t be banned for breaking the rules involving other people when playing alone.
Sure, I miss the fun of having other people around, and there are some games I just miss out on. But I am OK with it. I already don’t have as much time to play games anymore with my job and time spent doing online school work and blogging. I am fine going solo at my own pace and doing things my own way.
It works for me.